What does it look like to be an over-comer? To persevere? and how come some people are better at enduring hardships than others? It is true, we all know someone that has done a better job at handling unexpected turns in life than ourselves. So what are the secret traits of being resilient?
Resilient people accept themselves and what happened to them
When we fight against our emotions and hardships or when we try to avoid them or numb them, we inadvertently create more suffering. Acceptance shows us what we have control over and what we can let go off. It makes us prioritize and work hard on the things that we can work on and work with.
They tolerate uncomfortable feelings and stay calm
Resilient people pay attention to their emotions. They understand the triggers in their life, and they have healthy coping tools.
They are capable of staying with their pains, fears, failures, and heartbreaks accepting them (see point 1) and allowing themselves to feel them while offering compassion to themselves.
They rewrite their story and become authentic
Super survivors realize the fleeting nature of life, and they no longer care of what others think of them. They become true to themselves. They take risks and start to pursue the things they love.
They view the world slightly pessimistically
They see the world as it is. In other words, resilient people know that shit happens. And they’re also aware that it can happen to them.-They make a plan for a crisis. When it does happen they grieve their losses, but they don’t wallow and ruminate on the negative.
They think they are superman/superwoman
This comes as a contradiction to the point above, but resilient people have very optimistic outlook about their abilities. Others could say they are delusional.They believe in themselves and even overestimate how capable they are.
They use their creativity and improvise
Resilient people see opportunities everywhere.
They focus on what they have and don’t ruminate about what they’ve lost
Resilient people are aware of their shortcomings and strengths and know how to use them to their advantage. They don’t throw pity parties for themselves.
They don’t wait for anything and work hard
Resilient people don’t expect to be saved. They take responsibility for their life and work hard to save themselves. But they also know when to ask for help.
They find purpose based on their intrinsic values
Many super survivors turn to faith and spirituality in order to find hope. They don’t search for a reason why the horrific event happened to them, instead, they look for a purpose and how they can utilize themselves as best as they can right now.
They have at least one person who cheers them on
Most importantly resilient people are not alone. Community support and tight meaningful relationships are the frame of the trampoline that they bounce off.
The most important thing to remember is that we all have been given different characteristics to help us face the trials in our life, the best thing we can do is commit to the journey and give ourselves grace when needed.
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