The Four Honorings: Dealing with Grief

You don’t get over grief. You learn to live with it, to become whole and strong while you carry it.

Ken Druck, Ph.D., founder of The Jenna Druck Center in San Diego, is a renowned grief and resilience expert, speaker, organizational and family consultant, and award-winning author of several books including, The Real Rules of Life (Hay House).

He has put it better than I ever could. Thank you Dr. Ken for sharing this.

When faced with a severe tragedy, particularly the loss of a loved one, we must live by an honor code to survive. In my work helping others turn tragedy into healing, I’ve found Four Honorings to be the most important.

The First Honoring is Our Own Survival.

Where self-care and self-compassion become our guiding light, we fight our way back into life, one day, one breath at a time.

In “The Unbroken,” poet Rashini Rea reminded me of this after the death of my daughter, Jenna:

There is a brokenness

Out of which comes the unbroken,

A shatteredness out

Of which blooms the unshatterable,

There is a sorrow

Beyond all grief which leads to joy

And a fragility

Out of whose depths emerges strength.

There is a hollow space

Too vast for words

Through which we pass with each loss,

And there is a cry, deeper than all sound

Whose serrated edges cut the heart

As we break open

To the place inside which is unbreakable

And whole

Flip to the next page for Honoring #2


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